


Robot Man

by Crockzilla



Series: We Wish You a Merry Kink-mas [6]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Age Play, Daddy!Steve, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Little!Tony, Love Actually References, M/M, Mummy!Peggy, Non-Sexual Age Play, Team as Family, Uncle!Wade, dynamics are hard, xmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 00:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13111740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crockzilla/pseuds/Crockzilla
Summary: Wade hurts Tony's feelings when he's Big and makes up for it when he's Little.





	Robot Man

**Author's Note:**

> This is vignette 5 of 12 of notlucy and my We Wish You A Merry Kinkmas series!
> 
> You don't need to have read the rest of that series to appreciate this fic -- just know that in this 'verse, Tony and Bucky and Peter are sometimes Little, and Wade and Steve and Peggy (and Pepper) take care of them, and they're all staying at a cabin together for the holidays.
> 
> If you WANT to catch up on this series, start with Way Up North Where the Air Gets Cold by notlucy and me.
> 
> If you REALLY want to catch up on this whole 'verse, read notlucy's Brownstone in Brooklyn series (ww3some) and my Domestikink series (spideypool). You can even just read the ones tagged "age play."

“So bombs now?”

Tony rolled his eyes as much as he could and still pull himself out of the nose-dive he was in.  “No, Deadpool – not until Kamala has eyes on the other ship.”

“Tony, we can’t wait,” came Steve’s voice into his ear, “they’re almost here and –“

“ _Fine,_ ” he groused, though he had to admit that Captain Ameridad was more tolerable these days, now that he occasionally did things like read Tony comic books out loud and make him disgusting snacks involving pbj and ice-cream, “bombs whenever Cap says, Kamala just please –“

“I’ll let you know!” he heard Kamala promise in her bright voice and gosh what a great kid she was; reminded him of Peter back in the day, but with a smidge more common sense.

“So,” Wade’s voice cut through, speaking of Peter, “we’ll do the bombs when Stevie Bean says, but fuck Deadpool? Is that right?”

“Yeah, that’s generally the idea,” Tony said as he dodged fire from the aircraft carrier he was currently trying to neutralize.

“I like you better when you’re six,” Wade’s voice said.

It was on the closed channel, so only Tony and Wade heard it. So why was Tony suddenly so furious that his throat was closing up? “Well – I like _you_ better when I’m six!”

“Fabulous,” Wade shot back. Tony was about to remark on how very uncreative a comeback that was, but he was too busy not getting blown out of the sky. He grabbed a flying piece of debris and hurled it towards the aircraft carrier gunner a bit more aggressively than he’d meant to – okay a _lot_ more aggressively than he’d meant to, but it didn’t do anything to lessen the burn of anger in his chest. Goddamn Deadpool.

*~*~*

“What the fuck was that?”

Deadpool looked up at Tony from where he was cleaning one of his unnecessarily long blades (since he didn’t carry guns as much now what with the whole trying not to kill people as much thing). “Qua? Bless me?” he asked, his weird mask eyes opening curiously.

“That was a shitty thing to say, Cargo Shorts,” Tony almost hissed, not wanting the others to hear him where they were gathered in the cockpit.

“Which shitty thing?” Deadpool asked, going back to his cleaning.

“The one about how you like me better when I’m a little kid.”

Deadpool stopped cleaning again and looked at him. Then, he pulled his mask off. Tony wished he’d put it back on, not because of his weird face but because of his expression, which was all – being a good listener or something. “Well – you said you like _me_ better when you’re a little kid, which I get, so --?”

Tony threw his arms up and stood to put his suit away, clomping past Wade, who stopped him with a hand on his metal-clad chest. “Hey, Robot Man – I wasn’t trying to be a dick. Okay, well, I _was_ trying to be a dick, but I didn’t mean to – hurt your feelings, like _you_ you.”

“Forget it,” Tony shook him off and clomped to the back of the jet.

And they did. They worked together just fine, like they always did, and then they flew back to the states to the waiting arms of their respective significant others.

And maybe Tony hadn’t quite forgotten about it because maybe he mentioned it to Pepper. “He didn’t mean it like that,” she reassured him, “but I understand why it made you upset.”

It hadn’t made him _upset_. It was just – inappropriate, unprofessional. He didn’t say that to Pepper, though, because he knew what she’d say. So he forgot about it. Really.

*~*~*

Tony had one-hundred percent forgotten how awesome Xmas morning was when you were a kid. There was a possibility that he hadn’t had many or any truly awesome Xmas mornings until now, but this one – this one was definitely awesome.

They were taking a pause from playing Robot Glamazons in their new Giant Play Set of Doom (which was so rad) while Bucky and Peter explained the entire plot of their adventure to Pepper because she’d said she wanted to play, too, which was great because Pepper was the _best_. Tony was listening to make sure they didn’t forget anything important (Peter had already referred to Rodimus Prime Barbie as a Constructicon which was wrong) but he was also making his new toy pony gallop up the side of the play set.

“My love—“ Tony looked up to see his mummy crouch down next to him, holding a wrapped package. “You missed one of your presents.”

Tony looked at her with absolute wonder – a bonus present! – and mummy laughed, kissing him on the head and scooting back to let him enthusiastically tear through the cheery paper to see the toy inside.

It was a robot, but not like a real robot – a _stuffie_ robot.

Tony did not have a stuffie robot.

Not only that, but when he pushed on its tummy, it sang the Robot Man song to him, the one that Uncle Wade had played for him the last time he’d babysat. As Tony bounced along to the song ( _his_ song, Uncle Wade had told him) he noticed a tag tied with ribbon to his Robot Man’s arm. He unfolded it and read, “To: Tony, From: Uncle Wade” and below that, “I like you always.”

Uncle Wade was talking to Daddy about something to do with how much the turkey weighed, so he was surprised and let out a funny “oof” sound when Tony grabbed him around the waist. “Hi, buddy,” he said, with a laugh, patting Tony’s arm.

“Thank you for my Robot Man, Uncle Wade!” Tony exclaimed, making Daddy laugh, which was always nice. “And for my note,” he said in a much smaller voice.

Uncle Wade knelt down to give Tony a proper hug. “I mean it, y’know,” he said in Tony’s ear, “even if I act like a poo-head sometimes.”

Tony giggled– Uncle Wade was so silly. “That’s okay,” he whispered back, “sometimes I act like a poo-head, too.”

“Please don’t let your daddy hear you say ‘poo-head,’” Uncle Wade whispered, “or he will put me in time-out.”

And the thought of big, strong Uncle Wade in time-out was so funny that Tony could hardly concentrate on Robot Glamazon Turtle Dinosaurs for the rest of the morning.

*~*~*

“I can’t not cry when Emma Thompson cries.”

Tony sniffed, taking a tissue out of the box that Wade offered him.  “No one can,” Wade comforted, thickly. “Psychopaths, maybe. Republicans.”

They sat in the floor next to the beautifully glowing Xmas tree, the comfy throw from one of the cabin’s couches pulled over their heads in case they got caught and needed to hide, watching Emma Thompson weep over Alan Rickman’s infidelity.

“This really is a terrible movie,” Wade admitted, stuffing one of the last pieces of couronne into his mouth. “Gay people do not exist in this universe, and brown people barely do.”

Tony nodded. They watched in silence for a while, until the part where the little kids started singing “All I Want For Xmas is You,” which Tony deemed an okay part to talk over. “Hey,” he said, elbowing Wade a little, “I really like my robot stuffie.”

Wade looked at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Wade smiled in a way Tony rarely saw him smile when he wasn’t talking to a pretend-six-year-old. “Good. I like that we’re watching _Love Actually_.”

Tony was about to say that he, too, was glad to have someone with whom to watch his problematic fave, but then a light switched on in the kitchen. “Are you two watching that movie?” came Bucky’s voice.

“Please don’t tell on us,” Tony asked.

They heard Bucky’s long-suffering sigh. “There’d better be a piece of couronne left for me in the morning.”

Wade and Tony both looked at the last piece of couronne, which was sitting between them on a small plate. They heard Bucky go back upstairs.

“I want to eat this more than I want to not be harshly judged by our lovers,” Wade admitted. Tony responded by pinching off a large piece of couronne and popping it in this mouth. They laughed, somewhat evilly, and continued watching their awful movie.

**Author's Note:**

> Robot Man by Scorpions is a really awesome song and I think of Tony flying around when I listen to it: https://youtu.be/EohxqqKaYFc
> 
> Tomorrow's vignette is delicious ww3some kink from notlucy, Checking It Twice!
> 
> Tumble us:
> 
> crockzilla.tumblr.com
> 
> notlucy.tumblr.com


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